Emergency Information If You Somehow Wind Up in Bustleburg

If you accidentally end up in Bustleburg, the first thing you may want to do is leave. (see: Geography of Bustleburg, section: "How Do You Get Out of Bustleburg?)

Here is more information for your safety.

Places and People to Avoid
Atrax Palace Casino - The casino-hotel itself is relatively safe. However, the surrounding area is completely without police protection since it's too much of a hassle to get out there.

The Bachelorsville District - Mostly safe unless you're afraid of fire. Roving bands of LARPers and Boer War Reenactors are not looking for you, but you do not want to be caught in the melee. See also Rebel Fauns MC.

Banks - subject to frequent bank robberies

The Burnsvale District - Unless you have express permission, avoid. If you manage to sneak past the gates, you could be arrested for treason, terrorism, wearing a hoodie, etc.

Bustleburg Bridge - Unfortunately this is almost unavoidable when leaving Bustleburg unless you have a sturdy raft or wish to brave the Smog Barrens west of the city. The maddening eastbound traffic means you'll likely use this only as a route of dire necessity.

The Damsels District - Similar to Bachelorsville - also mostly safe except for arson, but also beware of falling debris from condemned buildings.

The Distress - (also see rescue operations below) All-female motorcycle gang that controls much of the Damsels district. Wearing orange, the color indicating support of the mayor, is not suggested. Orange t-shirts in support of the rival gang the Hollandton Hounds are okay, but you may be stopped to make sure you're not secretly pro-mayor.

East Bank District - Dangerous pollution levels throughout. Face masks are sold before the Bustleburg Bridge and upon entering Bustle Country from the Greenswift Escapeway.

East Bank Playground - Potential conscription by the Bustleburg Banana Extreme Croquet squad.

Employees of Kakisto Copper Wire Recovery - Do not interfere with vandals stealing wiring from abandoned houses or from houses where the residents have left for more than an hour. You are likely to be arrested.

Greyfields District - Problematic for fires, harassment by Burnsvale Samaritans, Inc., and extremely bad cell phone service. There are fewer stray dogs in Greyfields as they have been chased away by coyotes.

Hollandton - worst part of the city for stray dogs, protests, and pop up sales of firearms.

Nation's Loop - Be careful of post-soccer game street fights. Fire safety is slightly better here because of the surprisingly high density of licensed restaurants, but bringing your own extinguisher is still advised. Injuries caused by being whacked with 2 foot high chess pieces in Argument Park are not uncommon.

Nid de Rats Beauty Salons - avoid if you value your hair.

The Origin - While most of Bustleburg's famous monuments are located in this area, it is against the law to look at many of them except from the safety of moving vehicle.

P.R.P.R. - The Pious Rivalist Church's Public Relations Department is the region's most feared paramilitary organization.

Rebel Fauns MC - The leading gang of the Bachelorsville District maintains uneasy truces with the Damsels' Distress, the secretive Greyfields Ghosts, and Hollandton Hounds, but executives from the Dellaflame Corporation and members of the Lake Vauntley Yacht Club are not as fortunate.

Toxaco Chemicals - Alleged highest particulate pollution production in the nation. Also, persistent rumors of vampire activity

Total Institution Inc. Maximum Security Prison - Prevalence of escaped convicts make this area high risk.

Tree Sanctuary Park - Just don't go. Really, now, pay attention. Don't go.

"The Valley Low" Central Train Station - The Valley Low is especially dangerous to out-of-towners who are frequently injured by walking into renegade trompe l'oeil paintings of hallways and exits. Also beware of the uniformed vendors selling tickets as there is no train service in Bustleburg.

In Case of Emergency (Rescue Operations, Sanctuaries, etc.)
Note: Dialing 911 in Bustleburg is rarely useful unless you are a member of 911 Premium®. Additionally, Dellaflame Fire Protection Services® has an unlisted phone. Thus, keeping the number of the Volunteer Fire Department on hand is essential, but as they are continuously overwhelmed, carrying fire extinguishers is vital as well.

Most churches, temples, etc. outside of the Burnsvale district will provide sanctuary and will have plenty of fire extinguishers.

Valentine Hospital - Located on Nicole Street in the Damsels.

Certain motorcycle gangs (also see People to Avoid) can often be of assistance, but be sure to specify if a sidecar is needed for transport to the hospital.